Sometimes when I picture myself naked, I’m wearing something. Sure I look at myself naked almost daily, but when I imagine having my most ideal sex, it usually involves a harness. The harness in play is generally my Spareparts Joque, which allows me to both penetrate and be penetrated. But when my dysphoria is at its worst, I want something with more coverage. I wanted the Spareparts Tomboi and to forget that I have a vag, and Early to Bed helped me do that.
HOW THIS HARNESS WORKS
The Spareparts Tomboi is what I call a “full coverage” harness, made of nylon and spandex. It covers all factory-install genitals and prevents partnered penetration. It comes with an elastic o-ring that can fit up to a 2.25” diameter dildo. This harness comes in sizes XS through 3X (with XS, 4X and 5X listed as ‘coming soon’ on the Spareparts website) in either red or black.
The Tomboi features pockets above and below the elastic o-ring which can fit a bullet vibe. The pocket below is intended for the wearer’s pleasure, whereas the above pocket is for the person being penetrated. There’s also an elastic band in the front section designed to hold a packer.1Flaccid cock, usually use by transmasc folks. All of these components are covered by fabric “flaps.” To the right of these flaps, there’s an inside pocket, ideal for holding a condom or sample packet of lube. Nifty!
One of the things I love about Spareparts harnesses are the internal fabric flaps. Behind the o-ring, rather than exposing the wearer directly to their chosen cock, these fabric flaps make it easy to add a cock to this harness. They also allow for a strap-optional (aka “strapless strap-on”) or double ended dildo use, and they mean that folks with bio-cocks can use these harnesses as well!
HOW I USE THIS HARNESS
With all Spareparts harnesses, I love the ease of use. I’m spoiled by Spareparts since my first (and still favorite) harness was the Joque. With the Tomboi, I don’t have to adjust any straps and I can just pull them on like underwear. The lower vibe-pocket (intended for the wearer) feels like it was made to go with the Tango; it’s perfect for jerking off when I’m feeling dysphoric and want to have a cock. I love it with NYTC’s Shilo, my favorite dick. It’s also pretty ideal as a hard packing harness, since the stability allows the user to tuck dildos pretty easily.
However, the ease of use and benefits of the Tomboi come with a lot of caveats. I don’t feel sexy in this harness. I’m sure that for some this harness is perfect and feels more natural, since it resembles underwear more than a harness. For me, it highlights aspects of my body2Mostly my hips that can make me dysphoric.It can feel tight and constraining, which makes me very aware of when I gain or lose weight since it can’t stretch a ton or change sizes. It does not make my butt look cute, an issue A Femme Cock also faced. That, and the waistband is hellishly large and loves to roll over on itself and choose spots on me that make my soft tum and hips stand out a lot.
You can get the Tomboi at Early to Bed for $85. I personally prefer the Joque because it has more versatility, but the Tomboi is great if you want something closer to underwear or that stabilizes a cock better. Spareparts also makes a harness that looks like trunks. If Spareparts is above your budget, RodeoH makes a briefs style harness for $45, a femme-y brief for $49, a boxer that is $49 and trunks that are $50. Something to note about the RodeoH harnesses: they are made of a different kind of fabric than Spareparts, which makes the RodeoH less stable.3And I’ve heard their material stretches a lot
Spareparts’ harnesses are machine washable on a gentle cycle. They can be tumble dried on low or hung to dry. Spareparts recommends (and includes!) a lingerie bag if the harness is being machine washed, so I usually hand wash mine. Since this harness is made from nylon and spandex, I recommend laying it flat to dry, rather than hanging it, to avoid any unwanted stretching.
- Very secure
- Good for hiding dysphoric body parts (because of full coverage)
- Looks and feels kind of like underwear
- Can be used with a bio-cock, strap-optional strap-on, or vulva-ended dildo
- Great for cock-in-hand masturbation
- Not the sexiest thing
- Size does not adjust
- There are similar harnesses that are less expensive
This toy was generously provided to me by Early to Bed in exchange for an honest review. An infinite number of thanks to E2B for their immense patience with this review. There are affiliate links included. If you like this blog and want to support the work I do, please consider clearing your cookies and purchasing through my affiliate links.
Footnotes [ + ]
|1.||↑||Flaccid cock, usually use by transmasc folks.|
|2.||↑||Mostly my hips|
|3.||↑||And I’ve heard their material stretches a lot|