Look, my tinder bio reads “I probably have more vibrators than friends.” This naturally invites questions about my toy collection and I’m often asked if I have a favorite. I don’t. I have several go-to pieces but it really depends how I’m feeling at the moment. I was asked once about my most expensive piece. Enter the Womanizer W500 Pro.
I won this toy in a twitter giveaway and it’s Fancy As Fuck™. It’s by far themost Extra toy I have, featuring 14k gold plating and a Swarovski crystal element. Because glamour, I guess? When the first Womanizer came out, I read a ton of reviews and, because I worked in a sex shop, I could get my hands on it. Despite the appalling aesthetic and the gender-specific (and kinda misogynistic) name, the promise of a (not) vibrator that felt like getting head was enough to convince me to buy it. Spoiler alert: it didn’t blow my mind. I wouldn’t have bought the Womanizer W500 Pro especially not for $250. But I won it and now I have it, so let’s get to it.
HOW THIS TOY WORKS
The Womanizer W500 Pro is 4.7” long and less ergonomic than the original Womanizer. It’s shaped like an oblong egg and comes in 7 colors (don’t worry, most still have awful patterns like leopard print, paisley, or “tattoo”). The majority of the toy is ABS plastic, though my fancy “pro” version is partially gold plated. The ‘treatment head’ of the toy (the part which comes in contact with your bits) is removable and made of silicone. Oh, and when turned on, it lights up red. In my version, the Swarovski crystal button turns the toy on, while gold plated + and – buttons change the intensity. Supposedly there are 12 intensities, which is too many separate intensities with not enough difference between them. The toy starts at its lowest intensity setting, and at any point you can press the power button quickly to return to the lowest intensity.1Super useful when not trying to get overwhelmed by an orgasm but when you wanna make it last longer! Holding the power button will turn the Womanizer W500 Pro on or off. On the bottom underside of the toy is the charging port. A 90 minute charge should power the Womanizer W500 Pro for up to 5 hours.
HOW I USE THIS TOY
I charged the Womanizer W500 Pro and started using it more diligently because of Gender Feels. While those Feels have mostly since subsided, there was a brief amount of good times (often aided by the super hot porn by Bonus Hole Boys) where I could just imagine someone sucking my cock as I put the Womanizer W500 Pro to use.2It’s also the first toy that I’ve used where I thought of my genitals as a cock, which brings a lot of… complicated feels.
This toy makes me VERY wet. Like, make a mess and have to change my underwear (and sometimes, sheets) wet. Contrary to earlier claims that the original Womanizer had, it actually takes me longer to get off with the Womanizer W500 Pro3and original Womanizer than with most other toys. As a result of this build up, I usually have much better orgasms with it and feel a lot more satiated. I’ll get super turned on watching porn & using the Womanizer W500 Pro, but as soon as I increase the power, it’s too much, uncomfortable, and sometimes painful to the point where I basically have to lower the strength significantly so I can stand the sensation again. Because of the amount of time I spend on the build up and the orgasms I have with it, I don’t experience the multi-orgasmic play that a lot of reviewers have with this toy. I’m so sensitive by the time I finish, that additional masturbation is usually off the table.
The charge on this toy is solid. I used it every night on not-a-full-charge for literally weeks and, when it did finally die, the power level went up and down and I’m so mad because that felt fucking fantastic and I HATE patterns. Oof.
Is this toy worth $250? God no. Womanizer has come out with a bunch of alternates, many of which are less expensive. Dangerous Lilly has a great comparison of them here. That said, if you have the spare cash and absolutely need a gold-plated, Swarovski crystal sex toy, you can buy the Womanizer W500 Pro for $200 from Womanizer’s website or SheVibe, for $219 from Lovehoney, Peepshow Toys, Luvoqa, or The Stockroom–though none of these have the gold plated Swarovski version.
LUBE & CLEANING
The head of the toy can be completely removed and is completely silicone, which can bond with silicone based lube. I recommend a water based lube so you don’t risk ruining your toy.
The head can be washed with soap and water, dipped in a 10% bleach solution and then rinsed, or boiled for 3-5 minutes. To clean the body of the toy, the manual suggests you use a soft cloth, and warm water with soap.
The website currently says the Womanizer W500 Pro is waterproof, but my manual does not say that, and tells me not to submerge it, so maybe newer versions have been updated to be waterproof. I don’t usually jerk off in the shower or bath, so I don’t care.
- Gender feels
- Unique (ish) sensation
- Long lasting battery life
- Horrible to clean
- Doesn’t have patterns (if you like that sort of thing)
- Not ergonomic
I won this toy in a giveaway, and I am not receiving anything in exchange for this review. There are affiliate links included. If you like this blog and want to support the work I do, please consider clearing your cookies and purchasing through my affiliate links.
Footnotes [ + ]
|1.||↑||Super useful when not trying to get overwhelmed by an orgasm but when you wanna make it last longer!|
|2.||↑||It’s also the first toy that I’ve used where I thought of my genitals as a cock, which brings a lot of… complicated feels.|
|3.||↑||and original Womanizer|