“LOOKS LIKE MEAT’S BACK ON THE MENU BOYS!” And Exotic Erotics’ Orc dildo is very meaty. I like shopping at sex shops to see toys in person for a lot of reason but especially because the proprietors of the internet make some monster dicks. Exotic Erotics’ Orc is no exception; it’s not for the faint of fuckhole. When I worked at brick and mortar sex shopsand saw folks purchasing toys of this volume, I thought  “good for them” but never imagined I could work up to something that huge huge…

HOW THIS TOY WORKS

The Orc is one of Exotic Erotics’ High Fantasy sculpted toys, available in three sizes: mini, small, and medium. Being the fool¹of a Took! that I am, I opted for the medium which is… almost the size of my forearm. The medium Orc measures in with a 2.2” – 2.36” diameter and 6.5” insertable length. The small and mini sizes measure in at d=2” x l= 5.5” and d=1.72” x l=4.75”, respectively. I like Exotic Erotics’ medium firmness, though you can customize this toy’s silicone in soft,²similar to NYTC’s Shilo medium,³similar to Tantus’s Pack n Play no. 2 or hard. One of the truly amazing things about Exotic Erotics (and other small biz dildo manufacturers) is the level to which you can customize! Not just firmness but for color too: my toy is ‘natural’ coloring, a dark green head + green shaft + purple highlight.

The head of the toy features raised, mottled bumps. There are subtle raised veins along the shaft, as well as larger bumps on the back. The balls feature raised ridges. 

HOW I USE THIS TOY

I love toys with this level of firmness. I love to squish them in my hands, in my mouth, in my vag, when they fit! On my first use, I couldn’t get more than the head of the Orc into my vag. The second⁴breakfast try made it to just about the bumps on the shaft after really, really extending my masturbatory practices. Since there’s almost no room for this toy to exist in me, I don’t thrust but instead clench around the texture and really pleasant firmness. When I clench down, the toy has a bit of give which means I can slowly insert more and more. Fora sexy BJ, my mouth can barely fit around the Orc’s purple head. 

To get more than the head inside, I have to edge and masturbate for a good long while. We’re talkin’ multiple hours. I’ve said it before: I usually prefer a quick trip to Orgasm Town but since I started masturbating for money, I found myself yearning to fuck myself with something more. I’m not yet at the point of fucking the Orc–but hoo boy, it feels great just shoved on in– and I dream of the day I can thrust with this toy, though I know that day is yet to come.⁵You might even say, it’s on the horizon

The density of the Orc allows it to bend slightly at an angle, but the chonky shape is not easy to grip. I find that I’m most able to fuck myself by lowering onto the Orc, but we all know I’m lazy so I don’t love to do that. My typical use involves a LOT of lube to slowly ease the Orc in, usually while laying on my back. In this position, I can cross ankles and clench thighs to hold this toy inside. 

TO BUY

Does your menu need some meat on it? Purchase Exotic Erotic’s Orc dildo on their website starting at $50/ $65 / $100. 

LUBE & CLEANING

The Orc dildo is made of 100% silicone and can react with silicone lube. I recommend doing a spot test or using water based lube.

Silicone can be brought to a boil & boiled for 3-5 minutes, or dipped in a 10% bleach solution to disinfect. You can also clean it with soap and water.

PROs:

• Supports small businesses
• Tons of customization!
• Highly textured
• LOTR in the bedroom? *eyebrow waggle*

CONs:

• My eyes were bigger than my vagina
• Not super easy to grip

This toy was generously provided to me by Exotic Erotics in exchange for an honest review.